6/11-Thank God I'm not living there now.
Maybe this is the real reason my mother and father have decided to take a month long vacation out West. I will have to ask them.
I love Savannah, really I do. Sure, it's an absolutely nuts-o place to grow up in, what---with the deep seated racism, economic polarity, and social snobbery. But it's beautiful. And amidst the evil people, there are beautiful ones as well.
But I am so glad I am not there right now. Why? Because of all the bigoted bubba's, racist rednecks, superficial social climbers, and holier-than-thou hypocrites, Savannah has never had to deal with the likes of Bumfuck Cyrus.
That's right. Miley Cyrus has invaded my city. She has been photographed literally hoofing it on her unsteady, pre-pubescent colt legs around downtown, and most recently, tainting the waters at Tybee on a jet ski with a Vagina Virgin. Apparently, she is filming some crap movie and decided Savannah was the perfect place.
Miley, speaking on behalf of all Savannahians...Please, do not insult us. We are not the perfect place for you. We are above you.
Apparently everyone else within the 912 feels the same way I do. How do I know? They recently held an open casting call for local guys to audition for a love interest role as well as minor speaking parts or to be extras in the film. Do you know how many people showed up?
Less than Ten.
I shit you not.
The press, news media, and Miley's camp still can't figure it out. How could a tween/international/paparazzi sensation such as Miley suddenly garner so little attention? I will tell you.
Only Savannah is impervious to star power. That's why people like Sandra Bullock live there year round. No one gives a shit about her, and she likes it that way. But famewhores like Paula Deen and Miley...we hate. We are the only breed whose sense of self-importance is above the ministrations and manipulations of Hollywood. Their snob has nothing on our snob. And THAT is why Savannah is the last great outpost of America. In an age where people compete to be Paris Hilton's BFF, sell the souls of their 8 kids for a buck, or just generally worship all those who have been recorded by a camera, Savannah sets itself apart.
Ironic, I know, but the snobs of Savannah may just save the world.
Here is a link for the article detailing the disastrous auditions. I love that out of the ten people who showed up, one was a Savannahian/SCAD student just there to make fun of it.