Tuesday, October 20, 2009

She's needs a intervention.

Because this is not okay.  

Yes, of course we all know she has an eating disorder. But, unlike Mary Kate and others who try to hide their struggles underneath yards of loose, figure hiding fabric, Posh seems content to advertise her thinification at every turn. I am not a specialist on eating disorders, but I know enough about anxiety induced control issues to know that this is not "fine."  Not even close.  

And she's using fashion to aid and assist this behavior. Also not okay. Someone at Rock and Republic, please...don't continue to facilitate this.  No, she doesn't need our judgement. She needs help.

Black panneling that concaves inward on the upper thigh. Because, you know, all upper thighs should ideally curve inward at your pubic bone. 

Alexander McQueen. Shame on you. This isn't an illusion. It's an allusion to a sad truth.

And the even sadder truth is that, unless her brain dead husband starts spending less time on the field and more time trying to get her the help she deserves, it will only get worse. Because Posh has just been replaced as the model for the Armani Underwear ad-campaign by none other than another (albeit this time, self-professed) anorexic Megan Fox.  

A lesser of two evils?

And some of you still want to give birth to and raise children in this society? 

You are allowed to procreate only if you have the kinds of kids who shun this type of marketing and instead watch good t.v. and movies.  Like "An Education."  Will be seeing it. In New York. On Saturday. With wine and Alice. Will report back with details.

Initial buzz is that it's AMAZING. A story about the kind of girl you should want your girls to be. Brave. Flawed. Smart. Redeeming.  And Carey Mulligan is definitely not Posh but is still beautiful and so poised.  
I will take poise over "Posh" any day.

Oh. As a P.S....

This is Posh when she was a healthy thin.  This is Megan Fox at 18.  Yes, these are examples of how weight loss can change you.  But in the case of the latter...I don't think the decreased intake of food is the only thing at "work" here. No one changes that much from 18 to 23. No one. Period.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I am in the middle of grading my first batch of papers for ENG 101.

Without continuing the weeping and gnashing of teeth that has been my major mode of communication for the last 24 hours and bringing my lamentations to you (or those of you who have luckily been spared my tirades on "generation stupid"), I will simply summarize by saying...life holds few surprises. First impressions are usually right, and if a group of individuals sound and act dumb...they probably are.

How funny is it then that my faith in my ability to be surprised was revived by the fuckery that is the Twilight franchise?

The "Twilight: New Moon" Soundtrack was released today, and I can testify first hand that it does not suck (this and all subsequent vampire puns are embarrassingly unintentional).  No really. It's really, really good. I mean...look at the artist list:

Girzzly Bear
St. Vincent
Bon Iver
Thom York
Lupe Fiasco
Sea Wolf
Death Cab
Anya Marina
Lykke Li
The Killers
Ok Go
Band of Skulls
and more....

No shit. Like I said, I'm surprised too.  And they're new songs...some even written specifically for the movie.  That's right...Thom York and the hippest of the hipsters wrote, sang, and recorded ballads to Edward and his angst ridden, sparkling member. 

For those of you who mock the young adult market, let this be a lesson.  Never ever underestimate the economic power of the 12-18 year old female demographic. When united by a common bond, they can topple civilizations.

Now fans just have to hope that the film is a shadowy reflection of the music.

In movie news, the full length trailer for "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus" was released this week.  I dunno how I feel about this.  Scratch that...I do.  

It's kitsch on arrival.  College freshman (male and female) will be ripping down their "Fight Club" posters and slapping this one up in its place. Why? Well, it's the perfect "let's get stoned and go trip out on this crazy movie" movie. And also because, you know, Johnny Depp is, like, soooo hot and dude, Heath Ledger's awesome.

I know, it's a preemptive judgement. But after today, I'll be surprised if I'm ever surprised again.

Friday, October 2, 2009

As noted by Julie,

it has been quite awhile.

Maybe my subconscious was forcing me to stay away from the blog for a bit, because I will be longing to vent about movies from now until December.  

It's Oscar push time.  You know what that means. The Jane Campions will be battling studio giants of Biblical proportions for a chance to get on the Academy Awards stage.  TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) ended a few weeks ago, and this means the buzz has begun.  Here are some highlights.

"Bright Star"

I was skeptical, and, let's face it,...a jealous little bitch.  I have kept pretty mum about this because A.) I used to pontificate about how someone should cinematically tell the John Keats love story (and therefore somehow thought this meant I owned the idea) and B.) I hadn't seen it.

Well. Tuesday I did see it.  And loved every laborious, tear inducing minute of its 2 hr run time. Ben Whishaw is my new boyfriend, Jane Campion my new hero, and Abby Cornish my first prediction for a Best Actress nomination.  So. So. Good.  Find this film. Drive the next town over if you have to. It's that beautiful. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Keats began writing poetry at around 20. His mother and his brother both died of tuberculosis and at 23, Keats began to see that he was probably doomed to the same fate.  Then, he met Fanny Brawne, the girl who lived literally next door.  They fell in love. He wrote his best poetry during they're two year courtship. But Keats was also aware that he was too poor to marry.  And more importantly, he knew he had contracted TB. At 25, he died. The story is riveting and the film does it complete justice. It's moving without being melodramatic and over the top. Beautiful without being cliched.  Honestly, anymore of my tripe-filled words would only diminish it's extravagance, so I will close by telling you to watch the trailer below.

Next: "Up in the Air"

George Clooney seems like a nice guy.  Probably great to have a beer with. I've never been a huge, huge devotee. He's a decent actor who's gotten better with time and opportunity.  But "Up in the Air" is supposed to be incredible, largely due to Clooney's performance.  And Anna Kendrick, who, until now has been ridiculously under used is just as good. She was amazing in the indie "Rocket Science" and then settled for the Twilight fuckery.  "Up in the Air" will be the one that puts her on the map.  It's directed by Jason Reitman ("Juno," "Thank You For Smoking"). It's about a road warrior (Clooney) whose job it is to fly across the country handling corporate downsizing.  A life of constant travel and laying people off results in exactly what you think it would-a life devoid of feeling. Let the nominations begin.

"Where the Wild Things Are"

It's probably not going to get a nod for best picture, but it'll get some art direction awards, etc. But let's face it, for this movie, awards buzz is irrelevant.  The hype for this thing has been inherent since day one. Add an indie director, a cute kid (I mean...really, how cute is he? And I am not particularly susceptible to-shudder-'children'), and a good soundtrack, and the screen adaptation of WTWTA is celluloid gold. Get ready.

More awards predicts to come.