Sunday, January 31, 2010

At the Grammy's,

the rules of fashion don't apply. They just don't.

That's why, tonight, I won't be blogging according to normal, personal standards of dress. The following taste preferences/comments/sartorial rules-opinions apply for One Night Only. But don't worry, I'll justify my opinions. After that, we can fight.

Lea Michele

O. My. Heaven. Help. This. Child.

Horrible. Beyond terrible. "But Leanne! Why?! It's cute!" you cry.
Because, in and of itself, this dress wouldn't be that bad. A little ice-skatery, but all in all, okay.

Except for the fact that she LITERALLY chopped off the bottom of her Golden Globes dress and wore it to the Grammys. What-the-FUCK? You have GOT to be kidding me. Grammy's or not, this kind of shit is fashionally unforgivable.

At the Globes 14 days ago.

PS. Hate (hate!) that I didn't think of this before, but I must give credit where credit is due. Although my hatred for Eva Longoria's piss poor style Pre-dates my exposure to Lainey of Lainey Gossip...she had a great point the other night...Lea Michele is the new Eva Longoria.
(And, let me just say, I LOVE Glee. And Rachel aka. Lea is my FAVORITE character. Fashion has nothing to do with like-ability. So calm down.)

Gaga GAga GAGA!!

Love her so much. Love her SO much. Anyone that incorporates a Faulkner "Rose For Emily" reference at the end of a music video (but then jazzes it up by having her breasts shoot fire at the corpse) deserves my undying love and devotion.

And. Did you see her performance with Elton. Fab. Performance art at its finest. And let's set the record straight right now. Could you/would you ever see Brittany or any other pop twit DEULING PIANOS WITH ELTON JOHN?!! Glad we got that straight.

Bumfuck Cyrus

Show of hands. How many people still think she's saving herself for marriage?

All right, all right. I know. Easy target. I'll move it along.

Taylor Swift

I don't love it. And I very much like her. But she's slipping. This dress proves that she's slipping.

(Deep, heavy, nihilistic sigh). I may have to break up with Taylor soon.
We've been dating for a while, which, if you know me is quite a stretch given my loathing for country music. But she won me. Her intellect, kindness, and cuteness won me.

And then John Mayer inserted his douchbagery/high-school inferiority issues where they are least deserved.
If she and he continue whatever it is they're doing, I will have to end it. Because John Mayer is a deal breaker. Taylor is guilty by association.
In the meantime, I just hope she doesn't get pee'd on. (FYI to new readers: There are NUMEROUS blind rumors all over the place from several CREDIBLE sources that John gets off by golden showering his lady friends. Yeah. Now just try pulling up your i-tunes and listening to "Your Body Is A Wonderland." I dare you.)


Meh. Not bad. Not great.

But, can I just say (and all of you will fight me on this I'm sure) that B pissed me off when she covered/mashed up Alanis last night. Sorry B, you may be a pop superstar, but you will never have the capacity to touch my soul like Alanis. Back the fuck off.

Katy Perry

Besides Gaga, this may be my favorite of the night (minus the maang tikka). I know that a lot of you don't dig the nude color, and normally I don't either, but it's what makes this dress fun. It's like she's performing at a burlesque show. And I like the trashy side boob. And Russell Brand. Whatever. Bitch me out. I can take it.


How can material so light be made to look so heavy? Oppressive even. I liked her pre-show dress better.

@ the Grammy pre-party. Love.


Oh no. Something is afoot. This outfit spells relapse. (You were thinking it too.)

Imogen Heap

It's budget Gaga. just don't have it. So don't try.

And last but not least...because those of you who know me knew it was coming.

The best of the night.

My bff Bob.

Such a seXY XY combination. He really is a beast of a Man. Sigh.

He was a presenter, but was presented before presenting as "the most self important actor of his generation." You want to know the funniest part? He most likely wrote that shit himself.

He almost made up for the worst moment of the night. You know. The one where we were supposed to have saved our Avatar 3D glasses so we could watch Celine jump out at us with her earnestness? Even scarier than that display of asinine-ary is the fact that someone thought it was a good idea.

Till next time,



  1. I really didn't like Katy Perry's dress from the front at first, but when you see a back shot (and the side boob for that matter) it's quite elegant. She tweeted something to the effect of "I'm channeling an Indian/Betty Paige princess" look. I see it. I love Russell Brand. He's eloquent and hilarious. Leanne, have you heard his fresh air interview? If you haven't you MUST. (secret note to all jezebel commenters re: Katy Perry. All of you can fuck off. That is all.)

    Lady Gaga has a devoted little monster in me. That's all you need to know.

    Taylor Swift. That does not work for you. The cut is wrong on the chest. It makes your skinny-mini body have a strange, wee potbelly. Always have others take pictures of you in a dress before wearing it out!

    Miley Cyrus: She looked fine. Is she having sex? Who cares. Was Britney having sex? Yes. Here's my point: South Park's Britney Spears episode was right on target...skewering the media that was hungry for her blood...of course the South Park guys made it some sort of zombie movie wherein once a year, the "harvest" comes and a new female "virgin" star must be sacrificed for the hypnotized people. Their prediction? Miley Cyrus is next. I was at first horrified when this episode aired two or three years ago. "Miley Cyrus? That little girl on Hannah Montana? The Disney show?" Ay, there's the rub. I knew almost immediately that they were exactly right. Taylor Lautner can be the same age and flant his sexuality and his abs and Twimoms will gush, but let a young woman show her sexuality and she is taunted. Or that young women feel they must flaunt sexuality by showing skin or dancing on poles. Or is there something wrong with that? Look, I don't even need to get all academic on you guys for the implications and double standards to be obvious. Let's just stop this trend now.

  2. Again, Miley having sex is fine. Miley embracing and/or flaunting her sexuality is fine.
    But...Miley saying she's not having sex when she really is having sex ACTUALLY REINFORCES all the negative stereotypes/double standards which you so eloquently laid out (i.e. young women must claim to be sexually chaste for media popularity and to maintain an unrealistic image). AND THAT is why she pisses me off. She IS reinforcing said double standards through her hypocritical behavior. See?!! Just come out, be brave and honest and say, "you know, I decided I was ready for sex" or whatever. Then, you can call yourself a role model.