Wednesday, April 14, 2010


For weeks now, I have been planning on re-formatting the site. And what better time to re-veal the FFS make-over than the premiere of Kick-Ass.

Most of you reading this are spread far and wide, but those of you who do interact with me on a regular basis will realize that I have been keeping this one pretty close to my chest. In other words, I haven't really been talking about it, or really even acknowledging its existence.

To those of you who thought I was in the dark....fools. I was aware a long, long time ago. And it was one of those things I wanted to keep in my heart and store up...a little gem I could sneak a peek at when I felt down or depressed. Because this movie....THIS movie will KICK-ASS!

I mean, the premise alone is enough. I am a geek. Ergo: I love any and all superhero stories. I am also a bitch. Ergo: I love anything that satirizes anything. And above all, I am Nicolas Cage's eternally devoted lover. Which means, I will be weeping with joy when I see this movie tonight. Because Kick-Ass contains all of these things.

Here's the background:

Mark Millar (creator of the 'Wanted' series that was turned into the James McAvoy -dreamy sigh- movie) and John Romita, Jr. ('Amazing Spider Man') decided they'd had enough.
They realized that the comic book/graphic novel genre had gotten too serious, too self-important, and too far up it's own ass. So, they decided it needed a kick in the ass.

Which led them to the idea of creating a comic book series that both parodies AND celebrates the super-hero genre.

However, before they actually completed the first Kick-Ass installment, they decided to make it a meta-fictive, viral, communal project.

Here's the timeline: First...A MySpace page was created. The MySpace page is written under the guise of the (fictive) Kick-Ass. According to his MySpace, Kick-Ass is a comic book lover working on honing his super-hero skills so that he can fight real life bad guys. There is even a video on You Tube of a masked guy (Kick Ass) flailing around at a bunch of "attackers." Kick-Ass himself then informed his MySpace friends "that Mark Millar (the writer of Civil War and The Ultimates) is doing a comic-book about me with Marvel's greatest artist John Romita Jr (World War Hulk and Amazing Spider-Man)." After this, Kick-Ass decided that, in the interest of maintaining his secret identity, Millar and Romita should create a "fake" 'real' name for the comic book character. So a real, actual contest was held, and the winner of the contest, Dave Lizewski, chose his own name to be the name of the comic book character Kick-Ass. (Please tell me you are understanding how amazing and meta this all is...remember this all happened before the comic book was even fully written).

Then, the comic finally came out. It rocks. (It really is a good should read it). And now, it's time for the movie. Which will rock even harder. Watch.

Sorry, but for people like me this film is like a clitoral-vaginal orgasm. It satisfies my need for high-brow and a low-brow simultaneously. You can revel in all the intellectual genius of this project (which is constantly turning in on itself, up-ending and then re-up-ending it's own premise which challenges the lines between fantasy and reality) or you can just sit back, relax, and laugh.

Maybe most importantly, however, is that film will hopefully finally once and for all silence you Nic Cage haters. Because he Kicks Ass. He always has. He is an incredible actor (and if you think otherwise, you have never seen Leaving Las Vegas, Adaptation, or you are just an idiot). Sure, he has done some SHIT movies as of late. But that's because his dumb-ass self got into some serious debt and he was broke. Whatever. Hate the sin, love the sinner. And at least he did what he had to do to pull himself out of his self-made financial hole.

And now, he's back. Because, really, he will be the best part of this movie. Sure, I know everyone's getting all moist over the "Hit Girl"character, and rightfully so. A 12 year old assassin who swears like a sailor and tortures grown men is great. No argument from me. But how much more awesome is the father who created her? Because that is 'Big Daddy' aka. Nic Cage. Here's a little taste.

Ugh, I really can't explain it. I can't explain why he just does it for me. But he does. And I can try and say that I just like him in an intellectual "he's so quirky" Christopher Walken kind of way, but that's a lie. Because I'll admit it, I would fuck him. I mean, how crazy and funny would that sex be? He's too gentle to do anything really scary or fucked up, but he's wacky enough that you could imagine him creating these really elaborate, pyrotechnic role playing games that are just as much about the spectacle as they are about the physical....and I have just officially revealed too much.


Drop whatever it is you're doing this weekend and...

Shut-up. Fuck Crime. Kick-Ass!

No comments:

Post a Comment